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Bereaved Mother’s Day

Yesterday, May 5th, was Bereaved Mother’s Day.

And I missed it.

Kind of.

I missed it in the sense that I didn’t blog about it, or at all, yesterday. I figured a day late wouldn’t make it any less meaningful.

But it’s important to me.

It’s important because I know this kind of pain.

I know it many times over.

I know the aching in your heart, and the tears that won’t stop. I know the pleading with God to ‘just please not’.

Not now. Not again.

And then….

I know that time passes and wounds heal, but painful scars forever remain.

And I know that people forget and move on and in some sense, mammas with babies in heaven are expected to also.

Until you’ve really ‘been there’ you just don’t know. You couldn’t possibly know. And I know this first hand, because I’ve been there.

Bereaved Mother’s Day, recognized internationally, began in 2010 and is ‘celebrated’ the first Sunday in May. I’ve yet to find a calendar that notes this important date of remembrance…but maybe someday…

In honor of mine who were taken too soon I spent part of my day basking in the glorious warm Colorado weather. Pushing my body to work in a way it hasn’t since going on bedrest all those months ago.

<hey sore legs and core this morning>

Covered in sunscreen, filthy from dirt and sweat, all the while with my miracle by my side.

Being outside and working in the yard/gardens is part of my self care. Getting to do so with the babe chatting at me from his stroller on this exceptionally beautiful and MEANINGFUL day was over the top.

And he boycotted any real naps so we spent extra time together…snuggling, and playing. Chatting and laughing.

Thanking God for this gift I never thought I’d receive.

Thinking about my fellow friends and family who’ve walked this tough road as well.

Wondering about how many more have experienced the journey and I don’t even know (and if your heart aches and you want me to know…for support, to love on you, to pray with or for you…reach out!)

Girls, I SEE you. I LOVE you. My heart BREAKS for you. I PRAY for you and your little angels.

But maybe even more significantly, I REMEMBER.

-H

Photo Credit: Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

Just Short of A Year

Almost exactly a year since my last post.

A YEAR!

You may have wondered what happened. Or maybe you determined I’m simply inconsistent (and let’s be honest, you wouldn’t be wrong).

Allow me to share with you the situation, and maybe (just maybe) you’ll determine my inconsistency can be forgiven.

I had a baby!

You might be thinking “yea, yea. People have babies all the time”.

But, this was different.

It’s different because I’ve had a loooong and devastating pregnancy track record.

It’s different because I had a complicated and very high risk pregnancy to contend with that kept us on our toes, literally until our little guy took his very first breath.

Did you know that bed rest is still a thing?

It isn’t really…unless what you have going on throws doctors for such a loop that they go a little old school on you in fight for the little one (and mama, too, of course).

Our life officially went from crazy to downright circus status in early December (earlier, or later, than expected depending on how we look at it <—more on that another time) with three kiddos under the age of three.

I thought for a long while the blog might just be dead. Peacefully laid to rest. Outta sight and most certainly outta mind. A resource for me to look up some of my fav recipes I’d shared  previously when I hit a road block with my meal planning and need some cooking inspiration.

But recently, Simply Writeous has been on my brain.

Beckoning me. Calling me. Urging me back.

So here I am…..

A mama of a now 3 year old girl, 2 year old boy, and 4 month old miracle baby.

Slightly delirious from lack of sleep and in need of a 14 day nap.

Officially “off” dairy because the littlest one can’t handle it (I knew cheese made the world a better place, but I didn’t really KNOW until now. #thestruggleisreal).

Looking forward to being back in the writing game.

~H

 

 

Oh, Hello There

Good Morning, Dear Friends.

I apologize for having gone MIA this last week. It became quite clear to me that not having the weekend to get my life together means the week to follow…well…let’s just say life = not together.

Scrambling to throw meals together on the fly, trying to catch up on chores that went undone over the weekend, looking at the lawn that was 2 weeks past needing mowed, all the while working my regular job that verges on insanity…you get the picture. How my obsessive, compulsive personality survived is still a mystery!

Time spent in Nebraska made the life = not together scenario well worth it as I shared time with my family. Check out this picture I snapped of this gorgeous flowering bush at my grandmother’s house!! It was so full of blooms that the branches drooped under the weight. Simply stunning!

Flowering Bush

I hope you enjoyed Mother’s Day, in whatever capacity you celebrated and that this past weekend left you rejuvenated and ready to tackle this week.

I’ll be back later with some fun blog posts, but wanted to drop in this morning to say hello and offer some encouragement that no matter what is on your plate this week: You Got This!!

H