Chapter 2: Welcome to the Table
I walked away from a conversation, and ultimately a relationship, when attacks against me (both directly and behind my back) turned personal and I could no longer respond in a Godly way.
Emotions began to run wild and I felt myself on the verge of reacting.
Instead, a gentle whisper from God directing me to be still and set a boundary that ultimately had to be held by also hitting “block”.
And I obeyed.
I knew what this person was capable of: our own history holding evidence of evil dysfunction, and watching from the sidelines as the same scenarios played out with others.
I have no regrets about walking away. I don’t yearn for the relationship to be restored. And while the ways in which I’m connected to this individual will mean an eventual crossing of our paths at some point once again, it’s not something I’m seeking out.
I don’t need that brand of negativity in my life.
Nor do I need to have my children exposed to it either.
But I’ve often wondered if my inability to forget this ugly interaction (twice over), and my desire to hold firm the boundary has also meant I wasn’t forgiving as I’d been intentional in my prayers regarding.
Yet another worldly view of forgiveness is that it has to be accompanied by forgetting, when the truth is the Bible doesn’t call for these two things to go hand in hand at all.
We can forgive and not forget.
We don’t have to swim in a pool of emotional waste, coping in unhealthy ways…including pretending that everything is fine…thinking that forgetting is the key to ultimate forgiveness and being stuck on this detail that won’t allow us to move forward.
Let us not forget that we are human, our hearts made of flesh, and that evil lurks all around waiting for any opportunity to strike….including taking hurts in our lives and turning those hurts into anger, hate, bitterness and resentment.
Perhaps you are like me and you think you’ve forgiven, but you’ve not forgotten. There’s still some confusion about whether or not you might still be harboring unforgiveness deep in the reaches of your heart and soul; worldly definitions of forgiveness being what they are and so loudly being proclaimed while neglecting to understand Biblical truth.
Isn’t that just like Satan? Clouding judgment and creating confusion in an effort to keep us stuck??
I don’t know about you but the idea of exchanging bound up resentment for life-giving freedom gives me all the good feels and I don’t want to waste another moment trapped by the snare of the enemy.
Here’s what my life needs more of: TRUE forgiveness!
Forgiveness that cannot be achieved without a full understanding of what it’s all about, worldly views cast aside.
So, continue with me on this journey as we unpack and seek to really understand what we are actually called to do where forgiveness is concerned.
Love and Hugs from Colorado
In case you missed it: Chapter 1 link here!
Another resource to accompany your study and forgiveness journey:
Quotes, direct and paraphrased, are used throughout this article from “Forgiving What You Can’t Forget” as beautifully written and owned by Lysa Terkeurst
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