Guest Post,  Thoughts

When Remembering is As Important As Forgiving (Guest Post)

Have you ever thought about living in a world without forgiveness?

I believe that forgiveness is so important for us humans. It creates a sense of peace when we forgive both ourselves, and others for certain behaviors and mistakes that have been made. Forgiveness isn’t a bad thing, and there is a difference between forgiving and forgetting, and forgiving but never forgetting.

Forgiveness is making a conscious decision to let go of any kind of negative feelings towards those that have hurt you, such as resentment or vengeance. You are not condoning their behavior, but rather, changing your attitude and beliefs on the action/s that has/have been made towards you.

When we learn to forgive both ourselves and others for past mistakes, it creates a sense of relief. It allows us to understand that although mistakes have been made, and people might have been hurt in the process, we put all of what has happened in the past. We do not hold any unhealthy or unnecessary grudges against those actions, or perpetrators of said actions, because we have closed that chapter in our lives.

However, this does not mean that we should forget what has been done.

Instead, we should learn from what has occurred: allow these experiences in life to shape us into becoming a better person (if you are needing to forgive yourself for past mistakes) and to stop ourselves from making certain decisions that have led us towards those who have hurt us before (when forgiving others).

My Story:

I was in an abusive relationship for over three years. This man that I was with was very manipulative, controlling, and emotionally/physically abusive towards me. When I was able to finally be set free from him, I had to learn to forgive him for all that he did to me, and also to forgive myself for staying for so long.

Forgiveness can take time, and it can also take help and support from others to get you through it all.

I was able to change my attitude and feelings towards what this man did to me, allow myself to fully forgive him and put it all behind me, but never forget what I had gone through.

This personal experience of mine has shaped me into who I am today. I am a better, stronger, healthier, more resilient person, and with this abusive relationship, it has opened up my eyes to seeing any potential bad signs from other people who may enter my life hereafter.

One of the most important things that I did was to set up healthy and necessary boundaries with others. I needed to protect myself and make sure that anyone else (whether friend, or more) would enter into my life, I would be more attentive to potential manipulative/abusive behavioral traits.

Additionally, I would make sure that I say “no” if I am uncomfortable with that person being in my life. It is okay to set these boundaries. It is okay to say “no” to others. It is okay to walk away and cut toxic people out of your life. You need to look after yourself, and put yourself first.

Never settle for anyone who isn’t worthy of your time, and make sure that you are surrounded by others who lift you up, not bring you down.

Forgiveness takes time.

Letting go takes time. Setting up healthy boundaries and knowing how to read potential bad signs from others takes time.

Take one step at a time, seek help and advice from others such as family and friends that you trust.

Most importantly, put yourself first, because you matter most in your life. This life of yours should never be changed for anyone else but yourself.

~Sacha

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Meet The Author:
Hi there my name is Sacha and I am the owner and creator of Clothed With Dignity Co. I am a Christian blogger who encourages women to be strong, honorable and faithful to God. 

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