When There’s Nothing Godly Left To Contribute: Boundaries

When the message began with “I hope I don’t offend you by saying the following but feel it needs said….”

…I should have known.

That, coupled with aggressive verbal attacks noted in our history, should have been warning enough to delete the conversation without reading and go on about my business.

But, I didn’t.

I read the message.

Shots were fired.

I swallowed every urge to be offended. I gave grace in the face of the obvious substantial ignorance for understanding of Biblical truth. I attempted to re-speak God’s truths back into the situation, and knowing our history, suggested we may need to land in a place of “agree to disagree” and move on.

Agree to disagree and move on for the sake of preserving whatever could be salvaged of this relationship.

Surprisingly, the response seemed to be steering in direction of curiousness about what the Bible teaches, versus “agree to disagree and move on”. Praise Jesus! An opportunity to pour into someone and have a faith-based conversation! And so, I re-iterated Biblical truths (along with where they are found in the Bible) and examples how these truths can be seen in the flesh. Right in my very own home.

What better way to lock hands with someone in teaching than to personalize and bring “real life” experience to words written so long ago!

My words were met with silence.

The following morning, a prayer. Sent forward wrapped in love and for the both of us. Prayers for more truths to be revealed in our lives, for HIM to soften our hearts to understanding and receiving these truths, and for direction on how to apply these truths in our lives. Along with the prayer, an online resource for Biblical teaching and answers to questions the flood our minds as we seek to understand and know more.

I wasn’t prepared for the second rounds of shots to be fired.

I wasn’t prepared for my vulnerability and honesty in sharing personal experience to be used against me.

But I probably should have known…

Some of the most disgusting, awful words of mommy shaming spoken in to my life: because I believe what the Bible says about evil existing in the world, and that we are all influenced and capable of sin no matter our age. Because I believe what is written about sin transferring down through generations and had wondered aloud how that might impact my adopted children.

Mommy shaming because, in response to believing these words written in the Gospel, I pray over my children. I pray the scriptures. I bring them in to prayer with me. I pray for them and our home alongside my husband. I fall on my knees, often, seeking protection and for Godly peace and influence to fill the lives of my husband, my children, myself, and our home.

I especially wasn’t prepared for the third round of shots: another personal attack which had NOTHING to do with the topic at hand.

Mommy shaming and cheap shots fired from someone I had trusted, someone I was to have a “family” bond with, someone who isn’t shy to proclaim she is a Christian.

My best efforts not to fire back despite feeling emotionally charged about the personal attacks, to ensure I continued speaking with love and aligning my words with God’s Truths and to be extra mindful that no personal attack came from me in return were failing.

The conversation had reached its inevitable end.

I had nothing Godly left to contribute. This was clearly a spiritual battle I wasn’t intended to take on in fight.

It was time to let silence linger and to give it to God.

To forgive.

To continue praying for softening of heart and truths to be revealed.

To find refuge behind His shield of protection keeping this particular brand of negativity from being spoken in to my life while HE does HIS good work.

So much negativity surrounds us daily, draining us of the energy for other areas in our lives where our focus should lie. Distracting from God’s intention for our day. Might we all agree that we don’t need to go inviting more of it into our lives?

Perhaps it’s time to give it to God and simply let go. Even if letting go means severing ties with those we have shared a closeness, or are family (by marriage or blood) or perhaps even both.

Let us move and get back to basics: focusing our efforts and attention on the things that matter to HIM for us and our lives while He works on the rest.

 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV)

Love and Hugs from Colorado-

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